Feeling deflated by life. Stuck in the rat race of jobs, kids, and expectations. Apologizing from one event to another for either being late, not bringing a dish, or just not being enough. As we stare off into our futures, the only thing on the horizon is WORK, WORK, and WORK. In fact, we’ve worked so much that in odd event we get some downtime, we have no idea what to do with ourselves-so we create more work. Relaxing, like the still, quiet kind, is a distant memory.
Justin and I have accomplished everything we set out to do at the start of our marriage. On paper we’ve done everything right. We got married. Bought a house. Had 2 amazing children-1 boy and 1 girl. 2 steady jobs fully equipped with health insurance and 401ks. We are happy and still incredibly in love. Its like there is checklist we went through, the very checklist my 20 year old self swore she would never comply with. Check. Check. Check.
Now what? Be still? Enjoy? Sorry, we gave that up years ago in exchange for having a steady paycheck and a sometimes clean house. Now don’t get me wrong. Yes, we work HARD. But we also play HARD. We still take vacations, ski on the weekends, and have time for drinks with our neighbors. We read stories to our kids at night, and have amazing family snuggle time in the morning. But its scheduled. Its timed. We can never linger in it for too long because there is always somewhere else to be or something else we have to do. Its exhausting.
Several seeds were planted before I barged in on my husband like Kramer from Seinfeld. “Let’s reset,” I said. “Let’s reunite as a family. The kids won’t want to be around us in a few years. And I’m exhausted! I want to quit my job, pull the kids from school, rent the house, and go on the road for year. Its called ‘Roadschooling’ and its TOTALLY doable. What do you think?” Justin stared at me with his perfect poker face. Not one hint of his thoughts. “What was he thinking?” I thought.